Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
