if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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