AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
