he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
