Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
