windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
