just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
