Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i need some magic done to my vagina
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
