We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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