Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
