i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Someone came in the potted fern
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
