We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
