My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize