she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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