I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
