She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
3 2 1 whiskey
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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