your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
