why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize