she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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