How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
they're like a gay fantastic four
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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