His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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