I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Are we still banned from the library?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize