We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am available for nakedness
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