is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
