Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
