So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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