He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
