i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize