Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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