Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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