be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
