I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
