Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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