Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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