Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
