ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
