why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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