i think i have herpe
just one?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
