1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
