I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
