i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
