I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
