he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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