i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
