HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
