There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
