capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
