If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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