His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I have fence marks all over my body
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
