There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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