i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
