you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize