i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
