you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
