she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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