so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
