"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
