I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
